Submitted by Christine Whelan

Jan 6, 2022, VOL. 3 ISSUE 10

Everyone, for the most part, is trying to live life as normally as possible. This includes maintaining composure, and when necessary, interacting with others in a composed manner, being civil.

Sounds simple, right?

But what if you’re now screaming inside as a result of the last 21 months of stress and uncertainty? I’m not being over-dramatic. Experts in psychology and human nature are reporting that this ongoing experience, can lead many of us into a state of essentially feeling like a fully inflated balloon, filled with compressed air, ready to release with any slight trigger. We are responding normally to an abnormal situation.

Another result of this ambiguity is confusion. As I’ve mentioned in previous editions, we now live in what I have been calling the Land of Never-Been-Done-Before. We no longer can simply rely on ways we’ve coped with and accomplished things in the past to know how to deal with the present. So much has changed. So much is unknown.

And yet, we attempt to carry on normally. It’s how we roll.

What do you think about what is going on in your world and the greater world around you? How do you feel about everything? What are your plans?

When we don’t stop and let ourselves somehow address the activity that is going on in our heads and hearts, it can all mash together and none of it can be felt or processed properly.

Journaling is not just pen to paper. If given the chance, it’s a powerful tool in dealing with this current day pressure and confusion. The basic goal is to get it out of you and isolate it on paper. How you do it and what you do with it after that is up to you.

Personally, I’ve been journaling since I was eight years old. My first experience using journaling in the helping profession was working as a trauma and crisis counsellor, initially during weekends on a crisis line for survivors of sexual abuse, then at their homes. I was trained to use journaling techniques as follow-up exercises after they got off the phone with me and after I left their homes. When I would have the opportunity to talk with the women I worked with again on another occasion, they gave such positive feedback on the impact of the personal writing.

I continued to use journaling with teenagers when I worked at a youth drop in centre and with abused women when I worked at a women’s shelter. Through my business, Mindz ‘n Transit, I contracted with Wellspring Niagara, facilitating journaling classes for cancer patients, with amazing results.

For me, journaling is the bridge between my two hats, counsellor and freelance writer.

So, what is journaling?

I found, over the years, that the clearest, simplest definition for journaling is, “Putting thoughts and feelings into words to organize and clarify the thoughts and feelings, and express and release the thoughts and feelings.

Thousands of thoughts float through our minds each day, some unannounced and therefore more powerful, simply because we are not aware of their presence. They can do whatever they want, often tapping into inner fears and vulnerabilities. Thought traps can run ramped throughout, tapping into a wide variety of emotions, kicking in anxiety.

Nope. That doesn’t sound like fun.

Identifying the activity that is going on in our heads is one of the keys to experiencing a sense of being in control of our lives.

Releasing anger

There’s lots of potential and reason for any of us to react with anger and frustration these days. They can be a normal, healthy response to current events. The trick is to learn how to deal with the emotions. They need to somehow be expressed and released in a way that doesn’t negatively affect yourself, anyone else, or anything else.

But sometimes it’s not as simple as talking to a person we are angry with. Maybe confronting someone has highly negative consequences, like getting fired. Maybe your emotions are too intense to release in a controlled way. Maybe the recipient of your release is not around. An option is to write that person a letter, without ever intending to send it. Just write it; whatever you would like to say, if you could say anything and everything. Write it. Write it all.

And then destroy it. In destroying the letter, allow also, the unwanted feelings to be released with it.

This doesn’t solve any problem necessarily. But it does allow some of the pressure to be released. You then may be able to address and solve the issue at hand.

Mindfulness

Pulling yourself into the “here and now” is a good tool in both stress management and strengthening your concentration. A simple exercise is, choose an object in the room. Grab a paper and pen and write everything you can about that object: size, shape, colour, what it’s made of, what it’s used for, what it sounds like, where you got it. And if you dare to dip in deeper, what does the object mean to you, what is the story behind it?

Problem-solving

Problem-solving and decision-making can be challenging during times of stress. Writing down your thoughts, using the five steps of problem-solving can be of great assistance.

Problem-solving steps:

1. Identify the problem. Write it down and read it out loud.
2. Brainstorm all the possible solutions to the problem. At this point, don’t focus on whether or not each solution is good. Just brainstorm all possibilities.
3. Now, consider the outcome to each of the possibly solutions. Obviously, toss out any and all options that would land you in jail. Then drop those with severely, negative consequences and whittle down towards the best solution.
4. Choose the best solution.
5. Create a plan to implement the chosen solution.

Memory

Most people I know and have spoken to recently are having some level of memory issue. If you do any research on long-term stress, the effect on the memory is usually one of the first on the list. Keeping a daily organizer and creating to-do lists takes a lot of pressure off your mind to remember everything needed to have a productive day, whatever that means to you. The trick is, to get into the habit of remembering to use your lists and notebooks, both in writing things down and not leaving them on the table at home when going out. Another option might be to use your phone.

Grieving

With change comes loss. With loss comes grieving. We are all grieving at some level, for one reason or another.

It could be for the life we would now call the “old normal”. It was a life we knew how to live. We knew what to expect and what was expected of us. We felt more control back then.

Or the grief could be for a loved one who has recently passed, maybe from the virus. And maybe you weren’t able to go to the funeral. Maybe there wasn’t a funeral. How did you grieve?

Journaling is often the best thing. The best thing would have been to be able to go through what we know as the grieving process, which might include the gathering of family and friends in ceremony and telling stories, laughing and crying. It was how we said goodbye. Letter-writing to someone you’ve lost without sending it works here too, as the second best thing. Another idea is to write the story you would have told at that gathering you didn’t get to go to.

While researching the benefits of journaling years ago while preparing for my classes at Wellspring Niagara, I came across a fabulous statement that just about says it all. “Journaling is effective when dealing with loss and grief, coping with life-threatening or chronic illness, recovery from addictions, eating disorders, trauma, repairing troubled marriages and family relationships, increasing communication skills, developing healthier self-image, getting a better perspective on life, and clarifying life goals.”

Powerful stuff!

Barriers to journaling

This may all sound wonderful and promising, but it means nothing if you can’t bring yourself to get started. And you wouldn’t be alone. That’s because there are several obstacles that could get in your way. The first one is you.

If you don’t believe that journaling will benefit you or if you don’t believe you are worth the time it takes to journal, if you think you are being selfish in taking 20 minutes to yourself here and there, then there’s little chance you will get into the swing of it enough to experience the benefits. If you have already said, “I don’t have time,” then you have stated it’s not a priority. We all have time for what we deem a priority.

In my experience, I have noticed that those who have the hardest time journaling, believe it or not, are writers and teachers. This is because journaling is not about spelling or grammar. Not at all. They are actually obstacles. This is because, journaling most often comes from the right side of the brain, while spelling and grammar needs stem from the left. I get around this by using bullet journaling. I write my thoughts out using point form. This tricks my critical, left brain into accepting it and keeping quiet because to me, point form does not require anything within the rules of writing.

Going along these lines, it is important to include that creative writing abilities are not required at all in journaling, just as in art therapy, artistic skills are irrelevant. It’s not about rules or talent. It’s all about clarifying and releasing.

Another barrier to letting what is in your heart and mind out on paper is the fear of someone else reading your journal. This is, I think, the most common barrier, especially if someone has had their mother read their diary when they were a teenager. One option, since the most important thing is getting it out of you, is to read what you’ve written after you’ve written it so you can work with it at that moment, and then you can destroy it. If you feel you want to keep what you’ve written, you can choose a non-descript notebook that looks unimportant on the outside, something that won’t attract someone else’s attention, and curiosity.

Fear of the outcome is a real thing. Sometimes people don’t get around to journaling because at some level, they do not want it to work. They don’t want to know what hanging around inside.

How to motivate yourself to write

Take a page from Frank Sinatra’s book. Do it your way. Choose a journal that calls your name. Use a writing utensil that feels good and somehow helps you write neatly. Maybe you’d prefer to use a computer or a similar device. Write when you feel like it or at a specific time of day or night that works for you. Everyone has their own circadian rhythm. It’s significant here. Choose the space that works for you — the room or car, the chair or bed.

There are several journaling techniques. Choose the ones that you are drawn to.

Free association is like mental housecleaning. Just put your pen to paper and write. Write anything and everything. It can be one run-on sentence. It doesn’t matter. Just keep writing. Eventually, you may start writing down thoughts and feelings about things that you didn’t realize were in there. This is a good thing. Remember, only when you are aware of a thought or feeling can you have a sense of control over it.

Guided journaling includes either answering questions or finishing statements. It also can involve an aspect of association. You read or hear a word or statement and you write down the first thing that comes to your mind. This is, another good way to discover what’s going on inside. There are a variety of guided journaling exercises online and in books. Again, what you choose works best if it’s something that you are drawn to.

Journaling is personal. What is effective for one person may not be for another. If you do your own research using your inner guide to tell you what is best for you, the journaling experience is more likely to be effective and successful. There are a variety of books in print, online exercises and courses to choose from. In this regard, only you know what is right for you.