Christine Whelan FEO, January 4, 2024, VOL. 5 ISSUE 9

From infancy to old age, individuals need predictable routines to thrive. We strive to create routines so we feel safe and secure, organized, in control, and confident in who and what is in our lives, according to the Discovery Mood and Anxiety Program.

No wonder some people stress over New Year’s Eve. The program also states uncertainty is a big trigger for those struggling with anxiety and New Year’s is a holiday that celebrates it. It’s a reminder that the future is coming and change is imminent.

Change can be challenging whether it’s expected or unexpected. On the flip side, while we won’t be able to stop change from happening in 2024 or throughout our lives, we can do something about how we handle it.

One of my favourite mantras I like to keep in my pocket for times I might need a good reminder is, “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% what we do with it.”

Here are four suggestions the Discover Mood and Anxiety Program mentions in their article Anxiety and Change in the New Year:

Learn what you can and cannot control.

Sometimes it’s all too easy to become fixated on events over which we have no power or people who might never change their actions or attitudes. However, rather than focus on blaming others or moving the unmovable, set your sights on what you can control, such as your words, your actions, and your reaction to everything, including the things you cannot control.

For example, you can manage what you put in your body, how much money you spend, and how you treat others but you cannot control the weather, what is on the news, changes to your job, or how other people treat you.

Do your research.

Whatever change comes your way in 2024, where relevant, research as much about the situation as possible. Knowledge is power. To fear what we don’t know is part of being human. The best way to make the unknown known, and thus reduce anxiety, is to learn. Read, listen, watch, and ask questions about this change.

Develop a routine that incorporates the change.

The fear of change settles down when we make the new change part of our normal lives. Develop a new routine around a change that you are experiencing. Then, it’s no longer change to be feared or the unknown to be anxious about. Remember that it takes about three months to develop a new habit or routine.

Time

And finally, just a gentle reminder to yourself, when things do change, it takes time to adjust. Expect yourself, depending on the change, to feel a little like you are walking on new legs for a bit. This will change.

With change comes loss, even if the change is a good one, there will be elements that are lost in the process of change that will be missed. For the most part, we lose a sense of familiarity and comfort with what we have known.

When we experience loss, we experience grief so it would make sense to say that we also experience the five stages of grief. According to grief.com, the stages are denial, bargaining (If I had only…), depression, anger, and acceptance, in no specific order. These experiences are very personal and different from everyone else. Understanding the connection between experiencing change and experiencing the emotions of these stages can help manage the experience as a whole.

I once read somewhere that the Zen definition of anxiety is — resistance to change.

If life is, in fact, 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with it, the essential question stands — how well do you accept and deal with change? Seems like a New Year’s Resolution in the rough.

Change can surely thrust you outside of your comfort zone. Exhilarating. Thrilling. Or simply and utterly terrifying. The fabulous fact is, this, my friend, is your choice.

Happy New Year, Fort Erie!

It’s 2024! Be the change you wish to see in this world! – Mahatma Gandhi